I often find myself sitting watching through a move at the cinema or more likely now in front of my TV, watching Netflix and I cringe. Why would I do that when I freely spend my time on watching the latest blockbuster? Tell me if any of these drive you up the wall when you do:
- The black side kick. You know the one. The black guy from the “hood” chumming it with the white guy with the very “white” background In the real world, this generally doesn’t happen. Not to say that this wouldn’t be a step in the right direction, but it’s just not happening now.
- The death of the black guy. Really? Need I say more.
- Overused “comedy” in which someone who is seemingly “un-cool” does something that pop culture deems appropriate only for the under 30 crowd. Scratch that. Probably for the under 20 crowd. Grandma get’s up and performs the latest club dance on the Thanksgiving table. Enough said.
- The character who has some immediate insight to the ways of life. In real life people don’t get “it”. They are too preoccupied trying to get to the next day much less have some life changing epiphany.
- Did he really just say that? Yes, it happens. Characters who say things that would NEVER be said in real life.
- The audience aren’t stupid. Lines that obviously didn’t need to be in the film but for some reason the writers must mix audience up with ignoramus.
- The background “noise”. There is no need for the weird people behind the main character who are flapping their arms and lips for no apparent reason. It’s just distracting.
- The after sex cover up. There is an understandable need to not expose the character in a less than R rated move. Let’s just not make the cover up as ridiculous as the bed sheet. Really? Who does that?
- The helpless girl who can’t seem to get up before the zombie gets to her even though the zombie can only move at the speed of “turtle”. You get the drift.
- Animals behaving like cartoons in movies that are supposed to be realistic. It’s not cute or funny.
- If the character hasn’t had access to a razor in a month it isn’t probably for them to have perfectly shaved faces, legs, and armpits. It’s obviously important to look good on film but really? It just takes away from the whole “stranded and we need help” drama. I don’t feel as bad thinking that you somehow had access to a razor. Besides, it’s just distracting.
- Perfect teeth set in a 1490’s historical film. That didn’t happen. Unless, of course, I’m mistaken that teeth whiting kits were standard keep back then.
- The unrealistically attractive cast in what is supposed to be a realistic movie. There are ugly people in the real world and they don’t look like a heavier than average super model. At least find actors that are average.
- Psychic Powers. Really? How often do you really “know” when something bad is about to happen? Pretty much never. Unless the movie is fantasy based, let’s stick to reality. Bad things happen and nobody knows it’s coming.
- Corporate offices that are over the top glamorous. In real life they all look the same. As cheaply adorned as possible. Don’t forget the antiquated office equipment.
- The only nice politicians are democrat. Really? While it’s popular to not like Republicans, there may be some nice ones.
- Still having underwear on right after sex. That is a skill no one has acquired.
- The single guy apartment decor. You know exactly what I am referring to.
- The always available parking spot right up front. If only.
- Always being ready for sex. For some reason movie characters never need to use the bathroom or find contraception.
- Trained shooters who can’t shoot. Not to mention the untrained shooter who shoots right EVERY time.
- The “just-in-time” good guy. He never fails.
- Outrunning the exploding building. No one can run that fast.
The list goes on. Are there any that get to you?
Donna is an online marketing. She often writes quirky guest posting for small business owners, helping them to improve their online visibility.
Photo Credit: Lynn Lin