Archives of the Vatican
You would think that the Vatican’s Secret Archives would be some dumb conspiracy theory. I mean, it sounds ridiculous. The Vatican’s Secret Archives. Let it roll off your tongue. Surely, we’re into serious conspiracy weirdness here.
Except, of course, that there really is such a thing. And it’s pretty much exactly what you think it is.
There are a lot of reasons for an organization like the Catholic Church to have Secret Archives. After all, they’ve been in the conspiracy business for millennia longer than Majestic-12. They’ve been in the disinformation business for about 18 times as long as Donald Rumsfeld has been alive. They were taking secret vows when the Masons were just a bunch of architects. And they have more to hide that Richard M. Nixon on his worst day.
The Catholic Church first officially started keeping a library around the fourth century. Formed at the height of the first great heresy craze, the contents of this library included a lot of attacks on heretical branches of Christianity and the documents and scriptures used by these heretical branches (which the Church fathers admitted to having read).
The entire contents of the pre-eighth century archives, presumably including all these fascinating heresies, mysteriously disappeared, according to the Vatican’s official account of the library’s history, “for reasons not entirely known.”
The library was strictly closed to the public until around the 15th century, when the church decided to open its contents for the masses. OK, not all of the contents. Starting in the fourth century, the Catholic Church, in a position of political power for the first time, had been ruthlessly suppressing what it saw as heresy:
“Theodosius is said to be the first (Roman emperor) who pronounced heresy a capital crime; this law was passed in 382 against the Encratites, the Saccophori, the Hydroparastatae, and the Manichaeans. Heretical teachers were forbidden to propagate their doctrines publicly or privately; to hold public disputations; to ordain bishops, presbyters, or any other clergy; to hold religious meetings; to build conventicles or to avail themselves of money bequeathed to them for that purpose. Slaves were allowed to inform against their heretical masters and to purchase their freedom by coming over to the Church. The children of heretical parents were denied their patrimony and inheritance unless they returned to the Catholic Church. The books of heretics were ordered to be burned.”
Well, most of the books. After all, you would have to be pretty stupid to destroy valuable intelligence on your most hated enemies (read the Catholic Encyclopedia’s entry on heresy for a sense of the magnitude of enmity we’re talking about here). Around the time the library first opened to the public, Pope Paul IV issued the “index of prohibited books.” Reading, possessing or distributing these books had a spiritual penalty of excommunication (i.e., condemnation to hell without appeal), and in Catholic countries, they often had civil penalties as well (of varying severity, depending on the nature of the books).
Ironically, the pope issued an order later that same year mitigating the penalties regarding violations of the Index’s non-reading list, but the order was conveniently “lost” until 1909. Whoops! Guess they should’ve invented the Dewey decimal system while they were opening the library. This minor paperwork snafu justified 400 years of suppression and censorship, and when the modification of the order was discovered, it was ignored in favor of 400 years precedent, until the church finally lightened the order (slightly) in 1966.
While all this sounds pretty revolting to the American mindset, the church officially condones censorship even today: “Censorship of books is a supervision of the press in order to prevent any abuse of it. In this sense, every lawful authority, whose duty it is to protect its subjects from the ravages of a pernicious press, has the right of exercising censorship of books.”
Starting in the third century, the Church had expressly ordered the destruction of heretical books, but their contents were clearly referenced by the main heresy-hunters of the day, such as Irenaeus, a Father of the Church who wrote extensively about the fallacies of heresy. His texts explicitly admit he had read some of the source materials, as well as showing a great familiarity with the various beliefs of the many different heretic sects in existence at the time. The church’s official history of the archives confirms it contained such materials as a resource for those designated to fight against heresy.
Thus, the existence of a secret archive became inevitable for an organization obsessed with information control. Whatever form this archive took, it indisputably dates back to the fourth century at the latest. According to the Vatican, the early secret archive contained mainly the names of believers and wealthy patrons of the church, but as noted above, it almost assuredly contained copies of heretical and banned works, information deemed too “dangerous” for the public.
As the centuries wore on, the list of banned and dangerous books grew and grew, thanks to repeated expansions of the enemies list and aggressive attempts to snuff out the list’s members. The Inquisitions rounded up hundreds of books on topics ranging from Protestantism to Witchcraft and ritual magic, to the libraries of groups like the Knights Templar and the Cathars.
The latter groups might have had some particularly explosive additions for the library. Modern Conspiracy theorists have speculated that the Templars and the Cathars could have been protecting secrets like the possibility that Jesus Christ didn’t die on the cross as advertised, and that there might be hard evidence to support that claim, not to mention descendents of the allegedly sexless messiah.
Pope Pius IV is credited with first officially designating the existence of something which would formally be called the “Secret Archive.” The actual building was completed early in the 17th century and remained an ironclad fortress of forbidden information until the end of the 19th century, when it was purportedly opened to select scholars.
A heavily edited index of the Archives contents was published, and a large set of rules were developed regarding who got access to what. An even more secret archive known as the “Apostolic Penitentiary” exists, containing papal documents and canon law, and a lot of other stuff which is super-classified. Absolutely no one is allowed access.
As the 20th century dawned, the increasingly free flow of information around the world (and the decreasing political power of the Catholic Church) made it more and more difficult for the Vatican to effectively control what people were reading.
Archaeological discoveries of ancient Gnostic texts spilled the beans on the original heretics, and a vast surge of interest in all things magical and occult just made things worse. It’s difficult to justify banning access to the rituals of witchcraft, just for instance, when every major bookseller in American carries three or four flavors of “Teen Witch Spell Kits.”
Another predictable problem arose when the Vatican admitted the secret archives existed. People very naturally began guessing what might be in there, sometimes very accurately.
Among the more recent good guesses were the contents of the Third Secret of Fatima, an allegedly devastating prophecy of doom delivered by the Virgin Mary in a series of appearances to illiterate peasant children which was allegedly revealed by the Church in 2000. Under intense pressure, the Church released a series of 20th century documents from the secret archives relating to papal complicity in the rise of the Nazis in Germany.
In addition to Nazi collaboration, the archives are generally thought to contain rather a lot of information about the Catholic Church’s wrongdoings, such as the current scandal on priestly pedophilia. In fact, the archives contain miles of allegations concerning the sexual kinks and other vices enjoyed by priests and bishops, dating back to at least the 14th century, and possibly even earlier.
Realizing the danger of such disclosures, the Vatican structured access to the archives to allow a minimum of accidental disclosures and a maximum of secrecy. The most obvious way to do this is also the most effective. It’s strictly prohibited to go browsing the shelves in the Vatican’s secret archives. It’s unclear whether even the archive’s librarians are allowed to do so.
Scholars wishing to review information in the archives have to arrive at the gate knowing exactly what documents they want, which is a pretty crappy way to encourage scholarship but a great way to make sure no one stumbles onto the Explicit Erotic Diaries of Jesus and Mary. Scholars also have to present their research requests in writing in advance, allowing the librarians ample time to decide between their three options in responding — 1) bring out the requested document, 2) claim the document doesn’t exist, or 3) admit the document exists but refuse to give the scholar access.
So if you were hoping poke around the archives looking for evidence that Jesus was an extraterrestrial, just forget it. You have a better chance of getting a guided tour of Area 51 than getting a glimpse of the Sacred Alien Rectal Probing Device.
You MUST see these cool photo galleries!
Tags: archives, italy, museum, Rome, secret, vatican
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Little pizza secrets
Ever looked at the pizza on supermarket frozen shelves and wondered why your pizza doesn’t look like that? Or maybe it does look like that, but the taste bores your family stiff. Now the pizza genie comes to your rescue. Secrets to a better tasting homemade pizza are below.
1. The secret’s in the sauce.
Go to the grocery store and look at the variety of tomato sauce. Then look at the variety of pasta sauce. Italian tastes can go “high” or “low”, ranging from kid’s-lunch quality to company dinner level flavor. Sneaky pizza chefs dress up the sauce.
Don’t skimp on sauce unless you have a real balanced savory adventure happening on top of the pie. Pizza tops are made up of sweet and sour. Peppers can be sweet and cured Italian meats can bring sourness. The sauce can bring up whatever else is on top of the pie, even plain mushrooms.
Keeping tomato paste on the shelf is fine, but cut in some fresh tomatoes or peppers when using it on pizza at home. Heating up pizza sauce and adding in spices can really enrich the taste of the pizza. Think about the last pizza you had. Do you remember the meat, the cheese, the sauce, or the crust??
2. It’s not about more dough
Budget frozen pizzas in the market have a secret built in. They just provide more dough. Pound for pound more bread is a simple starch that overbalances flavor and is very heavy to eat. It makes shoppers think they are getting more value than they are. Thin crusts have a much finer finish and toast properly.
Many home pizza chefs go mad trying to make a pizza that cooks the dough properly while not burning the top ingredients. Fatty cheese if the only thing a chef can apply on top to stop the overcooking. Unless you are making a super pizza with no stops, skip the self rising or extra deep dish crust. it’s just bread.
3. Experiment with cheesiness
Work with your ingredients and sauce to get the most from the tomato layer. Milder sauce goes with tangier cheese. Put more garlic based tomato sauce on a “thinner” pizza top. Most frozen pizzas skimp on this step and rely on spiced meats and additives to hoist the flavor. This sets up the cheese.
If you have American or cheddar, think about a cheeseburger pizza. Even a few shakes of parmesan gets the job done in a hurry. If you have a good quality mozzarella, don’t bury it under 5 other ingredients. Make a country style pie with tomatoes and sauce and concentrated blobs of cheeses to really wow the diners.
4. Make courses of pizza, not all the same kind
Not every topping is best represented by every crust. Thin crispy crusts show off highly spiced combinations like chicken with red onions and barbeque sauce, or pecorino romano cheese sprinkled with fresh tomatoes sitting in blobs of cheese. Five cheese pizza should have a heftier crust to support the goo.
5. Use lower salt, less sugar ingredients
Grocery stores offer all kinds of less salt, lower sugar products. If you and yours love family pizza night from the takeout place, work on making the same result with healthier ingredients. Half and half cheese, no salt tomato sauce, and natural Italian sausage cuts down on additives.
6. Fresh trumps frozen any time of day or night.
Getting in the hang of home pizza making means being comfortable with the steps. Having tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, sausage or pepperoni, and tomatoes and mushrooms is just a start. Invest the same time in preparing pizza you would a gourmet salad.
7. Cut with scissors
Cutting pizza with a bad knife can ruin the toppings and disappoint diners. Weird or unattractive slice shapes make recipients either very happy or depressed because of too-denuded pizza slices. Cut very soon after pizza comes out of the oven with clean sharp scissors. The crust will be the toughest part to cut through as the pie cools off.
Cutting with scissors means all the cheese stays where it’s supposed to. Make smaller pieces for smaller appetites and snackers. Some people like more crust, some only want the middle. Serving up can happen in the kitchen when table room won’t accommodate a huge pie pan.
8. The magic phrase is “bite size”
Pizza can be easy to overeat because human teeth can’t puncture two inch round pepperoni slices, knuckle-duster broccoli florets, and gummy cheese mesas. Use scissors to cut tomatoes smaller and pepperoni into flavor dots. When’s the last time you saw someone snacking on a huge slice of pepperoni in one gulp?
Make an edible pie. Cut chicken and green onions small when using them. Chop mushrooms and onions as if for a salad. Keep cheese layers somewhat even across the entire pie. Press down crust overages. Distribute the ingredients all over the pie, so it won’t sink or slide to the middle while cooking.
9. Steal ideas from frozen pizzas
Shop for gourmet home pizza ideas by reading the ingredients on the back of frozen pizza boxes. See what you have and what you need. Home pizza making has more leverage over frozen in that you can sprinkle more cheese or anchovies or whatever on one of the pie, so everyone is happy. Or start with a budget frozen pizza and add the things your family like, with less of a cooking burden.
10. Serve with complimentary drinks & sides
Ah, the secret to a really successful pizza meal at home is what’s served on the side. Smart chefs will not serve cola or kid’s fizz to distract from the taste of the pizzas. Overly sweetened coffee drinks and sugary punch will rob your meal of the impact and reduce the payoff for your effort.
Think about what Italians drink while dining. Limoncello is a smart lemon liqueur whose citric power refreshes and emphasizes strong garlic and spices. Even beer is good with some Italian dishes.
You MUST see these cool photo galleries!
Tags: cheese, ham, homemade, pizza, salt, secret
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